A New Look At Maximizing The Dewey Decimal System

I was—and still am—a deep, deep thinker. I am known to ruminate about everything.

It’s as if I have this massive archive room inside my head. Everything I’ve ever said, done, or witnessed needs is in there, waiting to be recorded, cataloged, tagged, and filed on the appropriate shelf—with the taxonomy coded to the 5th decimal place level of specificity before I can rest.

Whenever I encounter a dichotomy or feel as if a piece of information is missing and I need to have to understand something, the hamster inside my head jumps up on the wheel and starts spinning.

And then, once he’s up on that wheel, he will run in circles for days, months, years—even decades—until I have closure.

Once I have everything all neatly filed—it’s as if space is somehow freed up on my mind’s hard drive—and the noise and pitch of the spinning wheel slows down.

That is, until the next research query arrives.

Like A Convenience Store, We’re Open 24 X 7

It never stops completely though, no matter what I do. It starts up randomly as well.

It’s very similar to those times when you’re working on your computer and all of a sudden the hard drive kicks in and it starts spinning—getting louder and louder. You know, a sure clue that a program or process has started to auto-run in the background—consuming nearly all the system resources. It’s THAT  kind of chugging of the hard drive. Only it’s mental processing.

I’ve been known to tell people, “Please stop talking. I can’t take hear the sound of anyone talking right now. I need to go away where it’s quiet and sit still and just process for a while. If I don’t do this, my mind hurts—literally.”

Lord, Why Has Thou Made Me Thus?

People would never think this about me. On the outside I am funny, jovial, and the-one-everyone-likes-to-be-around kind of person. I was fortunate to be raised by a mother who was always balancing the scales.

She taught me at a very early age to always consider the viewpoint of others and to respect their feelings and opinions. As a matter of fact, my mother was so nice that she wouldn’t insult The Devil unless it was a matter of life and death.

As a result, I suppose I grew up as a compliant little Pollyanna People Pleaser type. For the longest time, I couldn’t bear the thought of someone being upset with me. Banish the thought that someone might actually NOT like me. Gasp! [Insert the visual of a Southern belle fanning herself and reaching her hand behind her to feel for the fainting couch.]

Fixed … Like Concrete

On the outside, I am, and always have been, very accommodating to everyone’s opinions, but deep on inside—I have to admit that I am an Aquarius who is, as they say, very ‘fixed’ [read: not likely to change what I think]. But I’m not aggressively so by any means. I’ve never been a person who felt the need to try to change someone else’s thoughts.

Further, I don’t even have to be right in their eyes, but I do have to think that I’m right in MY own eyes. I do not have a compunction to inflict my opinions or beliefs on another person— be it political, religious, or otherwise. I just don’t want them forcing theirs on me. However, I am weak in that I rarely speak up when they do. I fight back with my hat. I put it on and leave quietly.

I prefer the path of least resistance. I do my best to steer clear of overbearing people. My mother always said, “Listen politely to what people have to say, then smile, nod, and proceed to go off and ‘peddle your own peaches'”.