I’m a blogger. I think best at my keyboard, when I am able to visually format my thoughts, throwing in pull quotes, using graphic elements, and offsetting everything with white space. How ever did I express myself before WordPress?
In other words, in order to put an idea to bed (so to speak), I need to package everything visually. It’s a sickness, I guess. LOL
I don’t write to try to get anything published. I simply write for my own pleasure. I do hope that someday my grown children—and maybe one or two close friends—will slow down long enough to grab a cup of coffee and to read my blog. But then, that’s a long shot in today’s electronic, sound-bite, Instagram world.
The End Game
Over the last few years I spent a lot of time documenting how deeply I regret my choice of marriage partner and so many other life-altering bad decisions that I made along the way. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. Retrospective Life Autopsy run amok. I think it’s high time for me to find other dead horses to beat. LOL
For me, walking the razor’s edge—between unfathomable regret (WHY did I marry this man?) and ‘forgetting those things that are behind’ (Philippians 3:12-14) is a daily balancing act.
The sad reality is that some of the people want to forever cast us in the role of our mistakes or, in my case, my incredible schmuckdom. It’s been a number of years since the implosion of my life and I’m still called upon to evaluate and update my perspective of reality while simultaneously dealing with all the rubber neck giraffes.
It reminds me of the lyrics from the old song from back in the 70’s by the hippie songster Leon Russell:
I’m up on the tight wire … One side’s ice and one is fire … It’s a circus game with you and me … I’m up on the tight rope … One side’s hate and one is hope … But the top hat on my head is all you see … And the wire seems to be the only place for me … A comedy of errors and I’m falling …
Like a rubberneck giraffe … You look into my past … Baby you’re just too blind to see …